A YEAR OF NO!
I have a new, New Year’s resolution… just say NO. I’ve promised myself that 2024 will be the year of fewer commitments, fewer breakfasts, lunches, coffees, and dinners. I am cocooning. I’m taking a nosedive into the deep, murky, waters of creativity and, at the end of the year, we’ll see where I come out. Hopefully more productive, more rested, and maybe a teeny bit more spiritual. If there was one thing that 2023 taught me, it was that taking on too many things can leave me energized in the moment, but depleted in the long run.
Why did I decide to pull back? Because I met the past 7 years with wild abandon. I lived in a state of complete and total YES! During that time I visited a ridiculous number of countries, wrote a book, did a few legal recreational drugs, floated in deprivation tanks, started going to the gym, stopped going to the gym, was invited to the White House 3 times, met the Dalai Lama in India, began meditating religiously, and left the corporate world to embark on a writing career. If you’ve listened to any of the podcasts I’ve been on for the past 3 years you’ve no doubt heard that it was a fantastic run of thrilling experiences. If you haven’t tried it, I highly recommend it. The YESSES served their purpose. I challenged myself to living a bigger life than I had before.
What does living a year of NO mean? It means that if you’re getting married, accepting an award, celebrating an anniversary, having a birthday, your kid is having a birthday, or some sports team or another is in the playoffs and you want me to bring a plate of buffalo wings, I won’t be there. I will, however, joyously “like” your photos on social from the comfort of my couch.
I wasn’t going to tell this story, but then I thought, screw it, why not? Here goes: when I was in my 20s, I briefly dated a writer who worked on the floor above me on the Sunset Gower lot. When we broke up he said it was because he needed to devote all of his spare time to his craft. At the time, I 100% did not understand his obsession. Why in the world would he want to write when he could be hanging out with me? I was cute, fun, and according to more than one review, an excellent kisser (I was told by one guy I have Thursday lips because I always look like I’m saying Thursday. Although the older I get the less my lips look like I’m saying Thursday and the more they seem to be saying “keep your dog off my lawn or I’m ratting you out to the HOA.”)
But I digress… so, yeah, I didn’t get it then, but now that I consider myself a writer, I cosign on all of that. By the way, that guy went on to create of the most iconic comedy series of the past few years so, in the end, I guess he showed me. My womanly wiles were no match for millions of dollars and an EP credit. Working on his craft was absolutely the right move.
Now I want to be clear: my year of NO also has absolutely nothing to do with you living in YES. If that’s your jam, have at it. I know a guy whose Youtube channel about angels, aliens, and alternate realities just started to blow up. Yay, him! He is fully embracing his YES and going full throttle. You Do You. I celebrate your decision. Just as I celebrate mine.
That said… I also reserve my right to contradict myself at any point. I’m not immune to a shiny new thing dangled in front of me. I can be swayed, tempted, or bribed. If you invite me to lunch in Paris, who knows, I might show up. Come on, I’m a sucker for a kouign amann et cannele sur un plat du chocolat a Les Deux Magots just like anybody else. I am not made of stone!
But for now, I’m very happy with setting this 2024 Year of NO boundary. This doesn’t mean I love any of you any less. Not at all. I love the connection, the comraderie, and the catch ups. I just don’t love the scheduling. Seeing my day stacked up with commitments is exactly why I ran away from sitting behind a corporate desk. Instead, I’m opting for snowy walks, library visits, and weekday movie matinees while rejecting structured days and other people’s expectations.
My NO to all of that is most emphatically, my YES to me.